| This is it guys! |
[Dec. 4th, 2009|12:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
This is it guys.
A day more. Just A day more.
And im all Jittery already.
Dear God,
please let things run as smoothly.
please let it all end well.
and
please let my lil wish come true.
On a note, spa was shiok but 'excruciating' painful later. Putting henna on hand and leg needs a lot of patience. But I like it so very much. :D
Wardah Ahmad
Lets get the ball rolling. (hehe) |
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| Sad |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|07:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  shocked | ] |
Im shocked.
The news had yet to sink in.
I cant believed it even happen.
and im sad.
very very sad.
Dear God. Why did it even happen. :(
Im not even surprised if she hates us all now.
Im not surprised if she finds us all bad.
im not.
i really am not.
wardah ahmad |
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| A pity |
[Oct. 12th, 2009|09:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
Its a pity... that all these are happening.
Its a pity.....
Its a pity noone seems to understand or learn the one lesson...
And that is to
..Forgive and Forget..
Because we all might die one day.. Be it today, tomorrow or another day..
A pity. A pity.. A pity.
Just me |
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| Money - the root of all evil? |
[Oct. 10th, 2009|09:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  listless | ] |
I learn something very valuable lately.
Something about values. morals, maybe....
Something that may tear relationships apart.
MONEY...
True, we need it to survive.
But sadly, we forgot. It is us who control the way we use it and not the other way round.
Example 1: Husband and Wife keeps fighting about it.
Example 2: ONCE CLOSELY KNITTED FAMILY are asking for money rights.
Example3: When a parent dies, the family turn tables and ask for inheritance.
A pity. A pity. There is no more, that once, a happy family.
And i prayed hard, day and night, that my family: - me, beng, mamat and mum will ever end up like that. EVER. Coz we promised my dad we will look after one another till the very end.
Yours truly
Just Me |
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| Friends. Friends.. FOE.... |
[May. 25th, 2009|08:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
A friend of mine once quote:
Many people may weave burlap of fabric into our life.
But how many of those weave gold thread instead?
Yes.
We may have many friends..
But
How many of those friends are the ones that would cry with us?
I once asked myself this question.. True.. as times go by.. i may have.....
Neglect them .... Yes.. sometimes. (this i admit).
but.
Forgotten... NEVER.
Why does my journal sound depressing.. coz i receive an sms from a friend... she accuse me of things in which i never had any intention of doing. Accuse me of things.. that i feel i wasnt.... saying things that hurt me deeply.....
I treasure all my friends.. Well, at least i think i do.
But it got me thinking... what if i am...a bad fren... just what if its true i have been neglecting them?
What if?
What if?
wardah ahmad
(On a good note, im waiting for mj now to bring good food ovaaa!! chop chai and lemon chicken!!! hehehheheh)
And whoever sms me earlier... its as simple as this... its your loss.. not mine... but thanks anyhow for making my heart pump so fast that it hurts and thank GOD, i told myself to get over it. and also thanks for making a sad wrinkle appear on my face. God bless u and your fulfilling life of making others miserable. If only u knew the real reason why i have avoided u my whole life... only if you knew...... |
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| The nose that refuse to stop running. |
[May. 7th, 2009|02:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | No music. But a throbbing head | ] |
And so today.
i was down with a running nose that refused to stop running.
No.
No fever. (its such a good thing to have a doctor at home coz he forced me to eat medicine)
I nearly lose my voice too but eating robbittusin (honey centre) helps!.
And yes.
I may have spread my lil chill to my love.
Sowwie... vely vely sowwieee....
BUT
Seriusly. i tot it was nothing too serius. I mean my body usually goes hay wire when im having my cramps/menses wat.
And.. i also tot... after all you were my best medicine eva. hehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
Sigh....
Im off to lala land again now.
too strong the medicine.
double sigh....
wardah ahmad |
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| Random |
[Feb. 27th, 2009|08:39 pm] |
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Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you. The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true. Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. Your views on education Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can. The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous. What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear. Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. |
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| Friday the 13th.. |
[Feb. 13th, 2009|11:25 pm] |
Emotions got the better of me today.
I was a bit hurt at first. But when i think again.. well.. maybe... i was just being plain sensitive about it. Life is just too short for things like this. If i were to continue to fret abt it.. then.. im just being a mindless childish freak.
Why the emotions uproar.
I just became depressed after seeing this show abt father and daughter relationship...
Coz Bak 'came' into my dream recently. and kissed me on my forehead like every other birthday i had.
He never forgets. Even in death. He just never forgets.
I hate friday the 13... i just hate it.
wardah ahmad |
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| Something |
[Feb. 6th, 2009|11:30 pm] |
Something worries me..
Something...
Just Something.....
Which i myself am not sure of....
Which i myself am not sure of....
wardah ahmad |
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| If not you, Then who? |
[Feb. 5th, 2009|11:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
Its a pity...
when death comes knocking on the door....
we as humans..
we as the ones left on this earth..
how do we just handle it..
Will we suffer? The Pain. The Heartache....
and
if we could survive and overcome God's test bestowed on us.
Its not easy.
And it is neither an easy journey for the one suffering. (close family) and for the one having to give them that emotional support.
For the one suffering,
Let me say it to the face. It IS not easy. And it WILL get tougher as time goes by. BUT as contradicting as this may sounds. Time will also heal all wounds. It took me me a more than a year to get over it. And It took my mum much much longer than that. Even to this day, we do get emotional. Esp when we are forced to remember back the past.. to the icu days. Yes. I very much hate icus now.
You have to be strong.
Tsk.
I for one used to not agree to the term - you have to be strong. Being strong physically. Maybe. But emotionally.. woah.. that's one major tough cookie. But you cant blame the people ard for u for saying tat. They after all, do not know what it felt like. But at the end of the day.... Ask yourself this qn.. If not you. Then who? You have to find that balance back. And you are the only one who can get your own lil feet standing. Its hard. Very... well.. damned.. hard. BUT you have to. If not for yourself. For the remaining love ones. For them who are watching over us now.
Noone can help you if you dont help yourself. Noone. So when that time eventually comes. coz it will come. You will have to find your way out of the tunnel.
But for now, juz take each day at a time. If you need to cry, jus cry. If you need a hug, just ask.
~ Don't worry. You're human.- your memory is no more than a sieve. Time will heal all wounds for your kind.~ extracted from new moon.
Wardah Ahmad
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| Time. |
[Jan. 21st, 2009|08:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Mika - Relax. Take it easy. | ] |
20.01.2009
Today i read the finishing pages of cecelia ahern new book - the gift...
As always, i nearly cried my balls.. okok..literally my eyes... out.
You see, this book speaks of a man... a man who is always rushing for time.. a man who is always thinking of being the best and making more money.
But you see this man.. who is even though 'rich' with money and whatever not... he.. sumhow feels.. lets say.. incomplete.
For He..neglects the very environment surrounding him.
For He neglects. the people who cared for him.
He neglects.
No.. You see.. this is not only abt the man...
This is ALSO about us..
How many of us have actually wake up every morning and RUSHES off to work. (in a cycle kinda of mode)
How many of us actually feel the need to make more money. money and more money.
How many of us say we want to do something but in the end we end up NEVER doing it at all. (Procrastinate)
Dont we all?
Now, ask yourself this qn.
How many of you have dreams we have yet to pursue?
How many of you see a need to do something simple like cleaning up a room but putting it aside.
How many of you feel a need to say i love you to the people ard you and show you care BUT you put it all aside saying that there will be another day..
Dont us all?
Remember.
Time cannot be given... BUT.... it can be shared.. :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
21.01.2009
I went into facebook today. And added mila request.
Oh dear GOD.. How i feel for her.. Truly.. I know its not easy. Its neve gona be an easy journey for her. For pak su, mak su and sedah.
And i know its also not an easy journey for shahril too.
But, eventually time will heal everything... It may take longer than we expect. If this is the case, we need to be patient ( a form of reminder to me too). And and the same time, never fail to give them the support and encouragement they need.
Cry.. Cry it all out. But dont until the extend it 'melaratkan badan'. Dont keep. Dont ever keep your feelings bottled up. Coz you end up hurting even more.
To mila, pak su, mak su and sedah - *big big hugs*
Stay strong. Arwahnye may have left but remember, he live within the memories you all once shared.
And memories can never be forgotten In fact, it will live within your very heart, to be told and shared with those ard u one day.
Cry you may. But let go you must learn. For he.. might not be able to bring himself to cross over the other side.
Arwah bak once told me. : 'Dunia sementara ajer, wardah. There be a time where we all will die and leave our love ones. And should that happen, dear child.. always remember i have loved you and am proud that i was blessed with you as my daughter. And sadden not, precious one. We will meet one day. eventually.Take it as a form of me off on a journey to find and 'chope' the very best place for us all to gather and live in later.'
I smiled.. Bak always has his way with words.
He added: 'And should i go before u get married. Be told Bak da uruskan segalanye. And that i will be proud of the choice u made. He will be a dashing young man who will look after you the way i look after your mother. InsyaAllah. (And im not surprised if he is not as romantic as what you dream of. Haha... (Yes. it was a joke between us)) And wardah, promise me.. Promise me you wont ever give up hope. Promise me you will continue cheering the people ard you especially mak. Promise me you will live your life like as if there is no tomorrow. I may no longer be around, wardah but there are still others too who still need you. who still care for you the way i do. And should you miss me, sedekah kan Bak dengan doa and bacakan Yasin. It will help me and at the same time it will help you to feel more at ease. I will watch over you..... always.'
The conversation ended with me... tickling him and asking him to stop being a 'sentimentel'. That happened a week before he finally got heart attack.
Its not easy. But i eventually came out of it. Yes. Even now, i will at times remember him ...The simple things he did when he was alive. But.. one thing for sure. He still live within my heart. my very soul and flow within my very blood.
Bak, I am the proud daughter of Ahmad Bin Ali. And will always be.
wardah ahmad
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| And so the ball started to roll |
[Jan. 18th, 2009|12:02 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  busy | ] |
And so.. i start my 2009 entry.
I know! I know! Macam a bit slow.. WAITT!!! memang da slow pun! hahahah..
Anyhow, today sumhow a bit relieved. :)
Food - checked
Pelamin Decor - checked
Katil Pengantin - checked
Pelamin Rumah - checked
Mak andam - checked
Camera/Video - checked
Although not in details as yet but at least da book. heh....
Now left in lists.
Berkat.
Hantaran
Kards meaning wedding invitation.
Berkat will be left to my mum..
Hantaran - OoOo.. i better start buying it slowly..
Kards.. hmmm..im sumhow being tempted to use my own contact. hahah.. But my mum thinks is a waste to do nice ones!!
Dear god.. i better start my guest list invites!! hahahhaa.. yeahhhhh...
wardah ahmad
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2008|11:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Decode - paramore | ] |
I was just about to rant abt certain frustrations now when i read my previous entry...
Sigh....
Let it go. Just let it go... No use holding back. No use getting all angry and pissed about it. Just let it go...
Breatheeeee............ Just breatheee......
On a note, i met my good old poly mates today. :D They were the best la. Sigh... Infectious laughter and normal bitching about life basically! And yes. i finally bought twilight book.
Cant wait to watch the movie with him tomorrow. (That is IF he dun have to OT-la) hahaha..
Oh! And yes, xy, if u are reading this. (which i know u will, coz u are my avid reader!! :D) I have finally shifted to chinatown (fook Hai Building)!! hohoho.. SoooooOOoo.. if u decide to walk ard here one day to do new year shopping next year, you know who to look for ok? I be most happy to accompany you! hehehehhe... The place as an overall quite nice. I feel homely. Coz i get to avoid the crazy crowd! adn yes! I will lose weight this time coz i need to travel to and fro!!! Penat laa!!!! My new office is long!!! penat! Penat! Penat! hahahaha..
Oh well...
Wardah Ahmad |
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| Anger |
[Nov. 27th, 2008|09:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Pocket Full of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield | ] |
Today was the worst day of my life. It wasnt so bad until initially i had to talk and layan one conveyancing secretary.
A pure bitch. BITCH! BITCH!! BITCH!!!
She gave me such a hard time. Kept calling me whole day and she made it worst by complaining to my boss about certain issues (and yes she knows im just helping my other colleague who was the one in charge). And even told my colleague that i was irresponsible. :( Then she had to ask me this qn : If she was being nasty and giving me a hard time. Before adding that she will remember my colleague for the rest of her life for being nasty and my firm too and will give us a hard time if we were to work together with her again. Of coz i cant say : Yes. U are a bitch and im not afriad. After hearing what she said, i swallowed all my anger and... just kept quiet and listen to her nag.... Coz i remembered this paragraph i read from mitch albom book - 5 people u meet in heaven: -
"Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating it is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves. Forgive, my dear. Forgive. Do you remember the lightness when you first arrived in heaven? He did. Where is my pain? That’s because no one is born with anger. And when we die, the soul is freed of it. But now, here in order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did, and why you no longer need to feel it."
And so... I decide to let it go. Why am i holding this anger. this hatred. Its aint my lost.
Toodles.
Wardah Ahmad |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2008|09:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drained | ] |
Past few days been really hell for me. :{
Today was the worst. My office workstation pc died on me.. and i have yet to even transfer everything into my other pc. What luck!! Tomorrow my
Anyhow, to brighten up that dampen spirits. All i had to do was stare at 2 pictures. HEHEHHEHEHEE..
Yes. Both me and my other half went for a fun fun fun 'makeover'!! It was fun coz the filipino photographer was soooo nice!! But after the whole session, we had to undergo an hour of talk.
No wait.
The package they were giving us was really really good but we have to look into alot of things and so, we decline it. :( Oh Well... Hopefully, yes, hopefully, there is a next time. :D (Let me be optimistic!!)
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| Subarrrrrruuuu MAniaaa!! |
[Nov. 8th, 2008|10:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The police - I FORGET THE TITLEE!! | ] |
OMG!!!
I woke up 5 am in the morning today and accompanied my other half for his subaru challenge.
I be honest. Call me bad fiance or whatever. But when he was going thru his qualifying rounds.. i was sumhow kinda of hoping he didnt get.
NooOOOo...!! Its not coz i don't believe in him.... It just tat... pitiful leh!! Every 6 hours he only got 5 mins break.. And he has to stand under the every crazy weather in just his bermudas and tshirt when i am at home sleeping.
Kesiannnnnn KAN!!!!
Anyhow, that was so just now. i returned home at abt 2pm and fell asleep.. literally drooling (like a lot) -hahahahahah-
Knocked out straight. (the kind of sleep, if bomb meletup, no wakey2) I overslept and only woke up till abt 430pm. - grins-
Reached ngee ann at 530 pm, got my visitor pass and await to see him at 7pm. And when he finally had his 5 precious mins of break. (Quick bite and drank water - see.. kesian KAN!!!) and a LOT of drama la from the other contestants!!
After all that kecoh2, running2, i realised 2 very important things.
One. I stink to the max!!!! really really stink!!!
Two. Im sooo getting old from all those running!!!!
hahahaha..
I bathe already. Period.
So i smell nice now. Double Period.
wardah ahmad
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| A moment where time stood still. |
[Oct. 28th, 2008|11:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
At the end of the day, it is I who is pulled in between.
At the end of the day, i just want to make everyone around me happy.
But
Without realising what i did is actually making things worst...
Sigh...
A moment of time where things will eventually move along just fine at the end of the day.
Hang in there please, wardah. Hang in there please..
Wardah Ahmad |
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| The Dickhead of a salesman! |
[Oct. 25th, 2008|12:08 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
My dear fellow cicak kubings...
FinallY!!!
Besok start the long weekend!!! HEHEHEHHEE!!!!
Happyyyyy banget!! I just cant wait to have breakfast besok with sue baby! :D And of coz i cant wait to eat macdoland pancakess!!! hohohoho!!
Better catch up with sleep soon...
im drooling on my lappie now.. Oh oh!! Face book is definetely more fun than friendster! hehehehehe!!
Ps: My mum asked me to buy for her an external a drive. Yes. Yes. Her workplace still uses a drive. Even mine la dey.
You have noooo idea what kind of look i get when i ask for it. The bloody salesmen snigger and say to me..
"my dear... a drive..... outdated-la. now thumbdrive."
Dickhead...
Like i dunno like that... Its for my mum la dey!. Old habits die hard mah!! Sheesh...
Wardah Ahmad
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| The B Word... |
[Oct. 15th, 2008|11:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bang Bang | ] |
And so today my firm finally plus officially bought over the new office space!
A new space to call our own.
No More increasing RENTS from BLOODSUCKING landlords! YEAH!!!!!
But... errrr.... its no longer located in raffles place :(
Sob.
Looks like i kena Bangun earlier than usual!
Double sob.
Work been increasingly been such a pain in my arse. I hate it when things never run smoothly and today.. it just didnt!! Good God!!! What is wrong with the Bank!!! How on earth can they make mistakes, by transfering clients money into the office account when THEY ALREADY RECEIVE SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS to put it into clients account!!! NOOBIE betul!!! BENGGAP betul!! VOMIT BLOOD betul!!!!
But then, i ask myself this qn... When such things happen. Who should we blame?
The Banks?
No.. How can I. When bankers are mere humans too who will make mistakes like you, me and everyone else?
The Firm?
No... How can me too? Shit happens.
And so, after complaining to my other half and almost half of the world (haha). i told myself to just let it go... Shit happens, man. It just happens....
Qn: Why do you always dress up?
Simple.
Coz hey, you never know if ur loved one called u up, out of the blue and say he wana meet you.
And i have always looked forward to such moment! At least you see him all preety2 mah!:P
Ps: A note to dear dear xy! Good luck with Saturday!! Confirm excited gila la awak! And yah!! Need to meet you!! Pass you wedding card already la!!! Izzad da nak kawin soon!! OMG!!! Da Besar(memang besar) sepupu aku!! hahaha.
wardah ahmad
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